Tag Archives: Game Jam

Let’s Write Some Statistically Average Jokes

The AGBIC game jam is fast drawing to a close, and I need to put some statistically average fake band names into the game, because that’s the entirely optional theme for the year, which means we’re doing it! Time for some statistically average jokes!

Like our bad space-themed jokes, these band names will be connected to items you find on the red planet, and we’ll try our best to be funny.

Or at least punny.

Pun and Games

Here are the newest additions. The words in bold are the statistically average band names:

  • You pick up a bottle of lactate- concentrate. The label reads ‘Moo Gourd, rich in Calcium, the other Vitamine C’.
  • You discover a crumpled copy of Football Scoundrel. The cover story reads ‘Tottenbacon’s Runaway Season’.
  • You find a stash of rolled-up Flamboyant Lifer magazines. Rich humans sure know how to live.
  • You pick a thin cardboard sleeve out of the dirt. It appears to contain an audio recording of the Ferry Destroyers. By the picture on the cover, it seems they dislike barbers as much as crossing channels.
  • You find a dusty magazine entitled Apes Spanks. Thinking it better not to ask, you quickly atomize it for parts.
  • You find a jar of Nut Rebuild, but it’s empty.
  • You find a card depicting a gloomy castle. It has Strength 10, Vitality 12, and Endurance 17. Apparently, you’d need more of these to play Fortification Addict.

space rocket travel

    • You recover a copy of Dunk Racket from the dirt. This audio-visual ‘comedy phenomenon’ stars Wes Haroldson and Woopy Pipes.
    • You pull a small, hair-covered jacket from the dirt. It appears made for an Earth-pet and the label says Ensemble Basset in Earth-glyphs.
    • A newspaper clipping lies in the dirt. It reads ‘Naturalization Loan Rollout Begins’.
    • You find a pamphlet for ‘Safari Ski Holidays in South Africa’. The tigers really look like they’re enjoying the hot cocoa. The sales blurb promises ‘Extravagant Thrills‘.
    • You pick up a postcard depicting a human male and female riding in an expensive-looking air vehicle. It says ‘the all-new Clove Beamer is a ride of a lifetime.’
    • You pick up a well-worn issue of ‘Impostor Smut‘ from the dust. Humans are into some weird things.
    • You find a small plastic card labeled ‘Hedonist Credit, redeemable in stores nationwide’.

Well, that was utterly ridiculous. I hope you’ll join us for more, soon.

Let’s Write Space Jokes for a Game!

It’s Game Jam Friday, so that means I really should be working on my little game. Why don’t you join me…

This month we’re making Mars and Crafts, a game about mining Mars to build Martian defenses against the oncoming human invasion. Part of this will involve tentacles. Another part will involve lots and lots of digging in the red Martian dirt.

Every now and then, you’ll discover random junk, much like if you were beachcombing. This junk gives you machine parts (which can be used to build things) and also tells the game’s story. When is the game set, how do the aliens you play perceive humanity,  what happens when you build war machines out of dirt and goo? That sort of thing.

It also needs to be funny, because life’s too short to forget about the lols. We’ll hit the space jokes pretty hard, and throw in plenty of references to popular media.

So let’s write some.

“Very funny, Scotty.”

  • You pick at the end of a piece of thread. As you pull, more thread rises from the Martian sand. Keep this up and you’ll unravel the whole thing.
  • You pick up a strange toy that resembles a human. Oddly, its head is far bigger than a real human’s head is purported to be, though its vacant stare implies it isn’t very clever. Maybe the humans worship dumb people who look smart?

Captain Kirk Naked - Space Jokes

  • You discover a gold and black spandex suit with a golden badge pinned to it. It looks like it might fit the human’s odd physiology.
  • You pick up a flat, shiny hexagon. Analysis reveals that it was part of a solar array. Anyway, it’ll look great hanging from your flying saucer’s rearview mirror.
  • Your UMT (Universal Mining Tool) detects something below the dust’s surface. You dig a little and uncover a polyhedral structure with numbers on it. Obviously, this is some kind of portent.
  • You find pile of magnetically attached needles. Your UMT detects a grass-like structure inside.
  • You pick up a tiny marble. It looks like it contains an entire galaxy within. Probably just a trick of the light.
  • You pick up two pie-pans that have been glued together.
  • You find a large black obalisk stuck in the sand. There are no markings on it, but if you vaporize it at least you’ll get more dirt and a single sproket.
  • You discover a glove of a prepubescent five-flanged tentaculared cepholopodian. Those guys never pick up their trash.
  • Looks like someone’s been playing EDM recently, dropped beats litter the place.
  • You recover what appears to be… a toaster.
  • Oh look, you’ve found a skull and gear symbol made of a metallic plastic. It seems ominously foreboding.
  • You pick up a paper cup. It says “Starbucks” in Earth-glyphs on the side, but you’re unsure where you can spend this space currency.
  • You pick up a bubblegum wrapper. It contains a joke, written in Earth-glyphs. Something about why the star wanted to take a vacation, because it needed some space. Earth humor, go figure!
  • You pick up a broken toy rocket. Its faded paint is red and white.
  • You find a newspaper clipping. The Earth-glyphs read ‘Oil Discovered on Mars. In unrelated news, America Plans Trip to Mars, Packs Oil Rig.’

Your Space Jokes Can Help

Have some ideas of your own? Got some space jokes you’d love to share? Drop them into the comments with your name and I’ll add you to the game’s credits. Be sure to subscribe to our newsletter too, because I’ll throw some news about the game up soonish.