The AGBIC game jam is fast drawing to a close, and I need to put some statistically average fake band names into the game, because that’s the entirely optional theme for the year, which means we’re doing it! Time for some statistically average jokes!
Like our bad space-themed jokes, these band names will be connected to items you find on the red planet, and we’ll try our best to be funny.
Or at least punny.
Pun and Games
Here are the newest additions. The words in bold are the statistically average band names:
- You pick up a bottle of lactate- concentrate. The label reads ‘Moo Gourd, rich in Calcium, the other Vitamine C’.
- You discover a crumpled copy of Football Scoundrel. The cover story reads ‘Tottenbacon’s Runaway Season’.
- You find a stash of rolled-up Flamboyant Lifer magazines. Rich humans sure know how to live.
- You pick a thin cardboard sleeve out of the dirt. It appears to contain an audio recording of the Ferry Destroyers. By the picture on the cover, it seems they dislike barbers as much as crossing channels.
- You find a dusty magazine entitled Apes Spanks. Thinking it better not to ask, you quickly atomize it for parts.
- You find a jar of Nut Rebuild, but it’s empty.
- You find a card depicting a gloomy castle. It has Strength 10, Vitality 12, and Endurance 17. Apparently, you’d need more of these to play Fortification Addict.
- You recover a copy of Dunk Racket from the dirt. This audio-visual ‘comedy phenomenon’ stars Wes Haroldson and Woopy Pipes.
- You pull a small, hair-covered jacket from the dirt. It appears made for an Earth-pet and the label says Ensemble Basset in Earth-glyphs.
- A newspaper clipping lies in the dirt. It reads ‘Naturalization Loan Rollout Begins’.
- You find a pamphlet for ‘Safari Ski Holidays in South Africa’. The tigers really look like they’re enjoying the hot cocoa. The sales blurb promises ‘Extravagant Thrills‘.
- You pick up a postcard depicting a human male and female riding in an expensive-looking air vehicle. It says ‘the all-new Clove Beamer is a ride of a lifetime.’
- You pick up a well-worn issue of ‘Impostor Smut‘ from the dust. Humans are into some weird things.
- You find a small plastic card labeled ‘Hedonist Credit, redeemable in stores nationwide’.
Well, that was utterly ridiculous. I hope you’ll join us for more, soon.
Hey there, I’m Rodney!
I’m a writer and editor of tabletop RPGs and a painter of Orks. Welcome to Rising Phoenix Games!
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