It’s Game Jam Friday, so that means I really should be working on my little game. Why don’t you join me…
It's official, I'm making Mars & Crafts for the @AGBICjam, based on Sebastià López's (@daruma_studio) great cartridge art. Thank you, Sebastià, for letting me turn M&C into something real.https://t.co/FgZlrjyFFr #AGBIC pic.twitter.com/HXyWYKoljT
— Rodney Sloan ?? ? ?? (????) (@RSloan) August 5, 2021
This month we’re making Mars and Crafts, a game about mining Mars to build Martian defenses against the oncoming human invasion. Part of this will involve tentacles. Another part will involve lots and lots of digging in the red Martian dirt.
Every now and then, you’ll discover random junk, much like if you were beachcombing. This junk gives you machine parts (which can be used to build things) and also tells the game’s story. When is the game set, how do the aliens you play perceive humanity, what happens when you build war machines out of dirt and goo? That sort of thing.
It also needs to be funny, because life’s too short to forget about the lols. We’ll hit the space jokes pretty hard, and throw in plenty of references to popular media.
So let’s write some.
“Very funny, Scotty.”
- You pick at the end of a piece of thread. As you pull, more thread rises from the Martian sand. Keep this up and you’ll unravel the whole thing.
- You pick up a strange toy that resembles a human. Oddly, its head is far bigger than a real human’s head is purported to be, though its vacant stare implies it isn’t very clever. Maybe the humans worship dumb people who look smart?
- You discover a gold and black spandex suit with a golden badge pinned to it. It looks like it might fit the human’s odd physiology.
- You pick up a flat, shiny hexagon. Analysis reveals that it was part of a solar array. Anyway, it’ll look great hanging from your flying saucer’s rearview mirror.
- Your UMT (Universal Mining Tool) detects something below the dust’s surface. You dig a little and uncover a polyhedral structure with numbers on it. Obviously, this is some kind of portent.
- You find pile of magnetically attached needles. Your UMT detects a grass-like structure inside.
- You pick up a tiny marble. It looks like it contains an entire galaxy within. Probably just a trick of the light.
- You pick up two pie-pans that have been glued together.
- You find a large black obalisk stuck in the sand. There are no markings on it, but if you vaporize it at least you’ll get more dirt and a single sproket.
- You discover a glove of a prepubescent five-flanged tentaculared cepholopodian. Those guys never pick up their trash.
- Looks like someone’s been playing EDM recently, dropped beats litter the place.
- You recover what appears to be… a toaster.
- Oh look, you’ve found a skull and gear symbol made of a metallic plastic. It seems ominously foreboding.
- You pick up a paper cup. It says “Starbucks” in Earth-glyphs on the side, but you’re unsure where you can spend this space currency.
- You pick up a bubblegum wrapper. It contains a joke, written in Earth-glyphs. Something about why the star wanted to take a vacation, because it needed some space. Earth humor, go figure!
- You pick up a broken toy rocket. Its faded paint is red and white.
- You find a newspaper clipping. The Earth-glyphs read ‘Oil Discovered on Mars. In unrelated news, America Plans Trip to Mars, Packs Oil Rig.’
Your Space Jokes Can Help
Have some ideas of your own? Got some space jokes you’d love to share? Drop them into the comments with your name and I’ll add you to the game’s credits. Be sure to subscribe to our newsletter too, because I’ll throw some news about the game up soonish.
Hey there, I’m Rodney!
I’m a writer and editor of tabletop RPGs and a painter of Orks. Welcome to Rising Phoenix Games!
Dwarves Rule! By the Power of Greyskull! Jesus Saves! Turtle Power! Bionics On! Waaagh Ork! For the Golgari, for the Swarm! ThunderCats Ho! Skate the Apocalypse!