Recently I released Claustrophobia!, the game of gnome mayhem on-board a terrestrial submarine headed for the Earth’s core and certain doom. The game is currently in play testing until the end of July this year. In Claustrophobia! you can use garden gnomes found in the wild (or bought at a store) as your “character sheet” and so today I’ll review some of the coolest garden gnomes out there.

While pictures of garden gnomes work well, gnome models add a lot more fun and creativity to the game. And of course, any money I do make from referrals does help keep this site going.

Rocket Powered Gnome If you want to take to the skies then this is the gnome for you. Of course, there isn’t much room in a subterrine for rocket powered flight, but you never know when the opportunity may arise. That said, this gnome comes with a pair of goggles that would make any adventurous gnome green with envy. I also think this fellow really symbolises the adventurous spirit that is Claustrophobia! More info: Jet-pack Garden Gnome on Amazon

Ninja Gnome Ninjitsu is that mysterious art of war that reminds so many of us of pizza with extra anchovies. Ninja’s are masters of disguise and subterfuge: I know because I’ve been living in Japan for almost a year now and have yet to see one. This guy comes packing a katana – useful when slicing up before mentioned pizza or some lava worms. More info: Ninja Gnome on Amazon

Gnomli, son of Gnolen This guy is by far my favourite, and a must have for every fantasy fan out there. He comes wearing shining armour and a double sided battle axe that has no doubt spilt orcish blood. I can hear the table talk already: “We gnomes are natural sprinters” or “Let them come. There is one gnome yet in HMS Keeton who still draws breath.” More info: Gnomli the Battle Gnome on Amazon

Gnombie No crew is complete without a brain eating zombie gnome. Strangely enough, he’s the only guy I’m reviewing that actually has a proper gnome hat, which I guess means: gnome hats are not suitable protection against zombification. There you go, you have been warned. More info: Gnombie on Amazon

Kiss My…Gnome This guy is just plain funny. I suppose he gets a +1 to dice rolls for being overly obnoxious. Or could it be that this gnome is taunting death, showing his courage (or is it insanity) through the most ancient of gnomish greetings, much like William Wallace is said to have done in the movie Braveheart. More info: Mooning Garden Gnome on Amazon

To end off I’ll give you a short list of gnomes that didn’t make my top 5:

• Grenadier Gnome, for all your anti personnel needs.
• Biker Gnomes, this town will never be the same again.
• Environmentalist Gnome, because I like to think that Rising Phoenix Games is an eco-friendly company. This guy is going to make a great NPC.
• Claustrophobia! Protest Gnome, the annoying gnome that’s been hanging around singing peace songs since he discovered my post on 1KM1KT.

That’s it for now. Leave a comment if you know of any other cool gnomes out there, or have a question or comment. And don’t forget about the play testing for Claustrophobia! that runs until the end of July! You can grab more updates via Twitter.